I've been having some shitty insomnia these last 6 or so months. I just don't want to sleep, you know? And time just keeps slipping by me before I really know what's up.
Tonight for instance, I worked out a little bit from about 11:30 to after midnight. After that I went back to my apartment, and I guess just hung out and watched TV or something, but at around 1 I realized I really wanted to do some laundry. I washed my bedsheets, and a set of clothes for work tomorrow (later today) and that took me until 3:30. At that point I was watching Starship Troopers, a horrible movie that I've seen several times, but just felt compelled to keep watching because I honestly didn't want to go to bed. I finally put my sheets back on, but I know I just have to get up in like 2 hours any...so I might as well blog.
I know it's not really insomnia though. I think I'm using it like most people use Bi polar or Anti-Social. Honestly, I'm just having trouble sleeping because I'm depressed about certain aspects of my life. If I were really an insomniac I'd stay up for like, 3 days strait before my body finally just shuts down momentarily to sleep. Instead, I'll probably get about an hour and a half of sleep tonight and be really tiered throughout the day. I might go to MASS* and take a nap there, but I always feel like a dick when I do that. Alternatively I might just sleep in my car in the parking lot of my work, or if I think I can, just drive home and take a nap there. I'll have things I can do...but won't because I just won't feel like it and I'll probably stay up too late and the cycle will begin anew.
This will might only continue until summer, but I could see this lasting until I graduate. My god it's going to be so long until I graduate. It's not going to happen until December. That's another 8 whole months away. Although, I'll probably mess something up and have to stay another semester so that's even longer. I really want to go back to community college where I at least don't feel like I'm throwing money down a hole.
1 comment:
Just a little note, if you work out at night, you have trouble sleeping. You probably have trouble sleeping for other reasons, but usually people don't recommend working out at night because it gets your metabolism up and your heart rate up and then it's almost impossible to fall asleep.
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