WELP that's a thing I guess.

So after days like today I like to write about it just to keep things in perspective and kind of rant about it.

First I woke up a little later than usual, which isn't that surprising or bad, except what woke me up was shadow dry heaving and me fearful that he was going to throw up again.

For those late to the show, let me back things up a bit.

On Friday night, Shadow ate three justaburgers that Anthony had bought. All the humans were in Sean Hardaway's room at the time watching the captured footage from the day's filming when it happened, so none of us noticed or tried to stop him. It was late when this happened and I had to be back here at 11am anyway so I just slept over with shadow here. The next day, Saturday happens and that night shadow barfs something horrible on Sean Hardaway's couch. I clean it up and apologize for him and then take him for a walk. The whole time he's walking he keeps stretching out at random times. At the end of the walk he throws up a little bit again. We come back into the apartment and go to bed. This brings us back to our starting point, today when I woke up to shadow dry heaving.

Shadow is dry heaving and I'm worried that he's going to throw up on McCoy's futon, or worse, on me (take that sean!) and try to stop him. Luckily he does nothing, and a few minutes later jumps off the futon and goes somewhere else. I wake up again about an hour later to the sound of him actually throwing up in the next room over. So he barfs on the carpet and a little bit on my shirt that was on the ground (he had been sleeping on it, you see) so I go to work to clean it up.

At this point shadow has basically started his day long passing out session on Hardaway's couch. I leave him there to go back to San Marcos to get not only shadow's items but also things I'll need for my trip to Dallas. This takes about 2 hours total, so add that to the 3ish hours from before I left and shadow has just been chilling on Hardaway's couch for quite some time now. I get back here and decide that Shadow obviously needs a walk, seeing as he hasn't had a chance to even pee today. I take him out and around the corner, maybe 70 yards away from the apartment before he indicates that he's ready to go back. On the way back to the apartment he stops walking, sits down, and as I pet him a little bit he lays down. After giving him a minute I get him to stand up again and keep walking back to the apartment. Unfortunatly, he only got about 5 feet before he just stopped, stretched and lay back down again. At this point I'm a little worried and pick him up and carry him back most of the way.

Once we get back in, Shadow drinks some water and goes strait back to Hardaway's couch. He chills there for a while and eventually throws up on it again. At this point I see a theme happening and get my comforter and lay it down on the couch in case he throws up again. A few hours later, he sure enough does.

Now the interesting thing to me happened right about here. I thought that shadow must be thirsty after throwing up so many times. I brought Shadow's water dish over to him, and shadow tried to get away from it. Every time I offered him water, he would go away from it. His desire to get away from the water dish is so strong, he actually goes into the other room when I offer it again. This is the most he's moved under his own power in several hours.

In the main room, shadow keeps sleeping until he has a seizure and pees on the couch. After that he does his normal routine of walking around half blind because he just had a seizure.

That pretty much brings us to now. I got back from buying more paper towels and doughnuts for the guys not too long ago, and shadow is on the living room couch on top of my comforter which I have to wash tomorrow before I go along with other things thrown up on. I'm going to try and get some sleep so I can maybe transport shadow to dallas where he can throw up in exciting new places.

This is why I don't want kids.

I called the cops today for the first time ever.

So today I actually dialed 911 for the first time in my life. It was a weird experience to say the least.


So Jeff's girlfriend, Cecilia comes over and invites me over to her friends house for a small get-together. As the party is starting to die down a bit, some people look over to the frat house across the street and notice what appears to be one person in some kind of altercation with another guy. Some of the guys go over to investigate and it turns out we were wrong. Guy A was simply drunk and stumbling around while guy B was attempting to help him. We talked to guy B for a while and guy A woke up from being pseudo-passed out on the lawn and comes over to talk too. At first it's a pleasant experience because everyone is being so nice and hey, we've all had a few so there's the comradery of being tipsy/drunk. This is until Ryan starts to joke and say that he would like to join the fraternity and will do whatever it takes to get in.

Well, this did not settle well with guy A, the drunker of the two frat guys. He didn't feel that Ryan's type of people would be a good fit into the frat and began to tell Ryan to go away and get off of his lawn. Ryan, apparently not really sensing the hostility pointed things out such as how he would be a good addition and that this was not, technically, that man's lawn. This is about the time guy A, the drunk one, gets physical and starts to push Ryan away and swear at him. Ryan retorted by walking away and simply saying "fuck you" or something to that extent. This is the point when Ryan was then punched in the head. We all quickly intervene and pull the two apart. Ryan is on the other side of the street and the now assailent was being held back by his frat master.

Matt, another member of my party, tried to explain that this was uncalled for. The frat master will not have any of this though, as he argues that Ryan had no right to come onto their lawn and say "fuck you" to his initiate. While this would be true, it was in the street, public domain, where Ryan was assaulted. Of course everyone is a little tipsy and hot headed at this point so no one is hearing the other person really, but me, matt, ryan and the 4th guy who's name I never caught all walk away (for me, this is in the opposite direction from where I live but I want to make sure everyone gets home alright) when we pass a group of 20 or so men.

These 20 some odd men seem to have come out of nowhere, at least to me. As we walked by them one of that party attempted to stare down Matt, only to then shake hands and chatt with the 4th guy who's name I didn't know. A bit of an odd encounter but whatever, I'm just relieved to find that this group isn't the rest of the frat coming out of the back of the house as I initially thought. About halfway between the frat house and the apartments we were walking to, Matt and 4th guy realize they need to go back the way we came to the 7-11 for cigeretts. I'm not exactly pleased about this but since the frat master had seemed to reel his subordinate in and this new pack of people were between us and the initial frat people I felt we could all sneak by unnoticed, which we thankfully did. I was worried when Ryan decided to split off and allegedly go home, up the steep hill that was had the street which seperated the party I started at and the frat house.

We crossed the street back to the point of the party and most of us were in our parking lot talking about the situation. 3 minutes into our conversation and re-telling of what just happened to the other party goers, Ryan comes speeding down the hill on the longbord he had been carrying. He had layed down on it like a street luge flicking everyone off. It was the funniest thing any of us had seen in ages and completely highlighted the absurdety of the whole situation. Unfortunetly the two gangs of fratguys didn't notice and partake in the hilarity of it all because a few minutes later shirts were being thrown off and a large brawl was underway. All of this stemming from the same asshole who had punched Ryan earlyer, and his inability to simply walk away and keep his mouth shut.

At firsrt my group simply watched in fasination, being sure to avoide brawlers as they fought. At first I simply assumed this would die down after a few punches were thrown but to my horror it didn't. A few people had been downed and were being beat upon, which is when it dawned on me to call the cops. I dialed 911 not fully expecting what to say or what the process for this was. I was connected with a dispatcher and told them the situation and the street corners this was taking place on and they transfered me to the poliece, who asked all the same questions and a few more.

No, I don't see any weapons.

Maybe about 40 guys, it's a whole frat house for sure.

Corner of Pat Garrison and Comanche.

I then gave my name and phone number and they informed me that another call was on the line and to call back if something else happened. I was a little suprised at how it ended, but I mean it makes sense in retrospect. I suppose it was just that I was fully aware of the seriousness of the situation while for all they knew I was a prank caller just trying to get some frat in trouble.

After a few minutes we heard sirens, which broke the fight in the middle of the street up. My group retreated to the front steps of the apartment while the cop cars showed up. As one pulled into the dark allyway next to the frat house I could see that the fight had broke out again down there past where I could see without the aid of the cop car's headlights.

In the end about 5-7 cars came and went. I don't know how many, if any, arrests were made and so far I haven't recieved any phone calls asking for a statement or anything. Hopefully the dick who started the whole thing, the one who punched Ryan and started the fight with the other pack of dudes won't be getting into his new frat. I don't think he would do well in there.


Between this and the shootout from last night, this is the crimewave of the century for my little college town.

I CAN HEAR YOU ONCE AGAIN

Thanks to the magic that is Jeff, I can now hear things on my computer again.

The first thing I listened to was Socks and dollars.


FEAR ME AND MY AUDIO ABILITIES!

Good news everyone!

While further investigation the mystery of not having sound on my computer, I have discovered that while my Speakers were on the fritz, my computer itself may have just lost the ability to produce sound. I've tried two sets of headphones, and go nothing from either of them. Now, maybe my computer just did not recognize headphones, so I would still like to try and set up another set of speakers, just to be sure.

When I put my ipod into my speakers, I only heard the slightest bit of sound when everything was turned all the way up.

WEEEEEEEEE!

The Road-Movie trailer

So last night while writing my blog about The Road, I googled it to find the correct spelling of the author's name. One of the hits that came up was the trailer for the upcoming movie.

I watched it on my Iphone, because my speakers on my computer died, and so far I'm both excited and apprehensive about this film. This makes me question what I should expect and what I should be thinking about when going in.

There were some parts of the trailer that I immediately recognized from the book. Several lines and shots showed up similarly to how I had pictured them in my head while reading. There were also several other parts of the trailer that were completely new to me.

To me, this seems like the main problem with telling the same story over two different mediums. The books tells one story, and plays to a certain audience and uses literary devices to say what it wants to say. A movie is completely different though, because it plays to a different audience who is usually more demanding in what they want.

The book deliberately leaves some things semi-open for the reader to piece together. It never says exactly what happened to the world, or how these bands of raiders are organized or anything. The trailer seems to imply that they'll explore some of these questions though, which I have mixed feelings about.

There are certainly some places where some of the action could be spiced up a bit, however I worry that adding too much might take away from the overall feel of realism that the book had. It feels like the story could go from being about just survival to one big chase, with the man and boy one step ahead of a Wile E. Coyote like villain, always on the chase even though there is reason enough to give up.

I suppose it's all too early to tell, and I won't really know until I see the movie itself. I just hope they don't mess this up like the did Watchmen, Amiright?

The Road

I recently ( a few hours ago) finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

I honestly have to say that I loved it. It was a unique experience for me. This book breaks almost every rule of literature I can think of. There is hardly any punctuation, the dialogue can be confusing especially if a third character is present, there is no discernible beginning, or middle. Just the end, which is contained in about the last 10 or so pages. I started the book and wondered when he would stop establishing the status quo, and introduce the main plot. It didn't dawn on me until maybe page 40 that he did start it way back on page one.

The only driving force is the characters. The Man, and The Boy. Not only are they the only driving force for the narrative, but also for each other. Either one of them would like to just lay down and die at any given moment, but they can't because they have to live for the other.

McCarthy does a good job of installing an emotional investment for his characters into you. The Man is a decent enough guy, who's only reason for living is to protect and provide for his son. The Boy is, well, just a boy. He's innocent and kind hearted and while he understand the situation they're in, that doesn't stop him from trying to change it for the better. At one point they come across an old man. This old man is starving, like most others in the world, and will probably die soon. The Man knows that there is nothing that they can do for him, but that does not stop the boy from trying. This is why you love them both. The Man tells it like it is, and the realist in all of us can sympathise with that. The Boy though, likes to believe that there's more to life than it's harsh reality. In the boy, the idea of humanity itself is still alive.

I guess you can think of The Man as the middle point of a spectrum. On one side, are the antagonists, the people who have turned to murder and canabalism to survive. On the other, is The Boy who thinks that it's more important to help others than to just survive. In the middle is The Man, who will do just about anything to survive, but not for him, for his son. He won't take what belongs to someone who's alive, and he won't hurt you unless you give him a reason to, but if he finds a reason he will end you without a 2nd thought.


I couldn't help but feel more apart of this world than any other I'd encountered in a long time. When they found the smallest of treasures, I felt proud and overjoyed. When they encountered a hardship I was nervious and frightened for them. Everyone they met on the road I wondered if this might be the end for them, or a new begining. When they found a place to rest for a few days, I was happy to see them warm and out of danger, but similarly to how The Man thought, I knew they still were in danger. If they found this shelter, someone else might too, and those people probably aren't friendly.

Again, I have to just say how much I enjoyed this book. Once I got into it, I had a hard time putting it down. Nothing about the idea of it is really all that unique. Post-apocalyps has been done, father and son stories have been done, but not in a style and with an emphasis on the harsh reality of life like this. I could go on, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone that hasn't read this yet and I certainly hope I haven't already.

The checklist.

The following items I have scavenged, or bartered for.

Tv stand/entertainment center. I found it in the garbage. some of the screws could probably be tightened, but that would require a screwdriver. It hasn't fallen over yet, so I don't think it will for some time.


Futon bed. Not quite sure how it turns into a couch, but that hasn't been an issue yet. Bought it from a guy named Kane from Criagslist. It cost me 30 dollars, plus 30 bucks worth of gas into Jeff's truck to go get it. Jeff has offered to pay me back, but I have insisted that he does not. Only time will tell. Also, it's my fault anyway for grossly misjudging how much gas it would take to get to Austin and back in the truck. You see, I, being of the liberal hippy mindset believed that it would probably get something like 7 miles to the gallon. In actuality, it's much, much more efficient. Oh well, even at 60 bucks it's still cheaper than buying it anywhere else.

Jeff says he plans to buy a new desk soon, so has offered to give me the table he currently uses. Huzzah!

We also have a microwave of questionable safety concerns. My logic is thus: if it were truly dangerous, they would have put it IN the dumpster and not right next to it. Jeff thinks otherwise, but continues to use it.

A pub table. So far it's gotten little use, but hey, it was free and cool. It's on the balcony right now and I put some candles on it (also found) on it for atmosphere. They offer poor light though.

Things I need:
A usb cable so I don't have to have my computer in the living room to connect to the internet. I doubt I could find one easily, so I may have to suck it up and buy one.

Speakers for my computer. Mine have finally died. I think there is an identical pair at home in what could be referred to as my closet. Otherwise I'll probably have to buy a set as well, as peak dumpster diving season has just now passed.



I think that's all really. There are a few other luxery items I wouldn't mind finding, if given the time or the money but I think past that I should be well off for the time being.

Oh, a headlight for my car. The one on the driver side is out and it sure would be nice to drive at night again. I wonder how hard those are to replace. The owner's manual just says to take it into the dealership for replacement lights but I don't think it's THAT complicated.


Other then THAT though, I gotta say I'm really happy about this new place. I finally feel like I have a place that is MINE, you know? In my last apartment, it felt a lot like a dorm to the point it really took me a year living there before i actually felt comfortable putting up posters because what if they suprise inspect and say I have to take 'em down?

Here though, it feels much more like the place I live and less like the place where I keep my stuff and sleep. It's a feeling I haven't really had since moving out of the Aberdeen house a whole bunch of years ago. I mean, I had to move from my room into my brother's room, then shortly after that we moved into Grandma and Grandpa's house, just in time for me to move to San Marcos and the dorms for a year and then my old apartment for the last two. I'm still organizing my room, and right now it's a mess but once I get caught up on laundry and get everything into it's place my room is going to look and just plain be amazing.

I'll upload pictures sometime tomorrow or later this week. Jeff's parents are coming in tomorrow and I think I might want to clear my computer off the coffee table so they have somewhere to sit. I do have this one for now:


Meet my kick-ass entertainment center. We have 5 game systems that we can hook up. Most are 10 years old or older. Those rabbit ears aren't just for show either, we currently get 4 channels, all Spanish. Not of lot of people I would trade places with right now though.

Won at RISK

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

This one was kinda crazy. I turned in cards, and that allowed me to eliminate because he happened to be weak at the time. That gave me his cards, which let me turn in cards again and take out Nick on my next turn. That gave me a set again, which I had to use to save Nick R in his last territory. Like two turns later I'm able to turn in cards yet again and eliminate Jeff (hope this means we can still be roommates) and that gave me 6 cards, two complete sets. I turned both of those in for a whopping 59 armies which lets me eliminate Sean and all but one territory of Gabe. If the game had gone on, I would have turned in cards again thanks to Sean's 3 and that plus my territories would have been I think like 46 armies. I could have taken over the rest of queens AND Brooklyn with that.

Team A played a good game. Jacob and Sean were thorns in our sides and our top priorities early on. I'll admit that it was largely to crazy luck with the cards and dice that let us win. There was also constant communication between all three of us. I had heard from MK that a few days into it he had sent the first e-mail to his teammates. At the time I heard that I had already deleted a 35 message conversation between my teammates. I have about 30 more sitting in my inbox still.

Can't wait for the next game. I like this New York map.

sleep troubles

I've been having some shitty insomnia these last 6 or so months. I just don't want to sleep, you know? And time just keeps slipping by me before I really know what's up.

Tonight for instance, I worked out a little bit from about 11:30 to after midnight. After that I went back to my apartment, and I guess just hung out and watched TV or something, but at around 1 I realized I really wanted to do some laundry. I washed my bedsheets, and a set of clothes for work tomorrow (later today) and that took me until 3:30. At that point I was watching Starship Troopers, a horrible movie that I've seen several times, but just felt compelled to keep watching because I honestly didn't want to go to bed. I finally put my sheets back on, but I know I just have to get up in like 2 hours any...so I might as well blog.

I know it's not really insomnia though. I think I'm using it like most people use Bi polar or Anti-Social. Honestly, I'm just having trouble sleeping because I'm depressed about certain aspects of my life. If I were really an insomniac I'd stay up for like, 3 days strait before my body finally just shuts down momentarily to sleep. Instead, I'll probably get about an hour and a half of sleep tonight and be really tiered throughout the day. I might go to MASS* and take a nap there, but I always feel like a dick when I do that. Alternatively I might just sleep in my car in the parking lot of my work, or if I think I can, just drive home and take a nap there. I'll have things I can do...but won't because I just won't feel like it and I'll probably stay up too late and the cycle will begin anew.

This will might only continue until summer, but I could see this lasting until I graduate. My god it's going to be so long until I graduate. It's not going to happen until December. That's another 8 whole months away. Although, I'll probably mess something up and have to stay another semester so that's even longer. I really want to go back to community college where I at least don't feel like I'm throwing money down a hole.

We will live forever

Or die trying.

My last spring break.

I have to say I'm a little disappointed in where my last spring break ever seems to be going. I've never actually had a good one, and I was kind of determined to make this one stand out in a significant way. So far I've just gone home, waited for my car to get fixed, done some errands for my mom and played a few video games on the Wii they bought.


Tomorrow I'll be doing chores for money, which I'll probably spend wisely and sparingly. I might go crazy and spring for God of War II, but I really shouldn't. I tend to loose track of time when I play games and my dick of a Spakespeare professor assigned a paper due on Tuesday right after we get back from break. I of course won't have the time to do it on Monday, save for maybe a few small edits so I'll have to do it between now and Sunday.

I think this can still be salvaged though. It's Wednesday, so if I get up early and just plow through the work, and maybe get a jump on that paper I can go back to Austin on Thursday with the intent of camping somewhere on Friday. The only real problem is finding someone to go with me. I could just go alone, but there wouldn't be any fun in that. None of my friends would want to go camping, or at least getting them to commit to it would be impossible. I think I can substitute camping though, for getting at least two other people to do something that we've all never really done before. I don't care what it is, so long as it's a new experience.

I've still got high hopes for the rest of the week, and honestly I shouldn't be too bummed that this is my last spring break. I'll have other chances to do crazy things in the future. Hell, hopefully I'll land a decent enough job to give vacation time and can have spring break whenever I want it.

Heaven on their minds.

It's 6:50 am and I'm working on one of the last hurdles I have to overcome before spring break. All I have to do is revise this paper, a task that should not take me that long, and after that I can just turn my brain off and go through the motions until it's Friday night and I'm at home. I should be ashamed that I just want to coast through these last couple of days before starting my break, but I honestly can't bring myself to give even the smallest of fucks about anything going on right now.

Watchmen review

Editor's note: Replace the name Jenny with the name Laurie. I think I was thinking of Jenny Sparks at the time.

Ok, man, lemme think. That was....weird. kinda.

word?


ok I think I got something.

Watchmen was...alright. It's kind of tough to explain.

The main problem with a Watchmen movie, is simply that Watchmen is too complex a comic book to accurately translate into film. With just about everything in the movie, you can see pretty easily where it comes from in the book. The problem is some of the context around it is not quite there, and a few things have been added that kind of throw you for a loop. For example, the characters of the news stand owner and the kid who reads the pirate comic are left out completely, right until the end. The heroic, though futile gesture of the news stand guy is lost and looks like he is just afraid and looking for someone to hug instead of using himself as a shield for his favorite customer. At one point in the book Jenny picks up a gun, which she later fires at Ozymandias. In the movie though, they don't show her getting the gun, and because of how skimpy her costume is you're really left to wonder just where the hell it came from.

Without having read the book before hand, I think it would have been easy for me to get lost in what exactly is happening most of the time. There are times, primarily when reviewing the Comedian's life and other back story sequences, where it would be easy to not know where exactly they are if you don't already know it. Structurally the movie is confusing, largely due to trying to be faithful to the book, but not including enough of it to give us a good sense of what exactly is going on. It feels less like Dr. Manhattan goes to Mars to get away from everything and think, and more like "oh hey, it's time for Dr. Manhattan to do this now."

Changes from the book to the movie were pretty minimal, which helped it in some parts and hurt it in others. The image of the clock, continuously approaching midnight makes an appearance, but in a really dumb way. Apparently there is "the doomsday clock" which symbolizes how close we are to nuclear war (this is a paraphrase of their own words). At some points through the movie, scientists take the time to move it one minute closer. The whole country is watching these scientists move the large minute hands in this world for some reason. I guess it's supposed to be similar to our color coded terror alert, which means nothing but is just something for us all to panic about. The clock image was something that really did not need to be included anyway, but if they're going to keep it, they should at least keep what it originally was.

On the other hand, the ending is changed slightly from the book but it still maintains much of the deep emotional impact that you originally feel from reading it. I don't want to give anything away, but I will tell you that the ending does work, even though it's not quite the same. Many of the same lines are there, but said to different people or changed slightly to maintain the meaning of it all without it being exactly what someone who read the book would expect.

There were several aspects of this movie that really took me by surprise. For starters, it's much more violent than I would have expected it to be. When Dan and Jenny are fighting the top knot gang members, there's one point where Jenny breaks a guys arm so horribly that the skin breaks and blood squirts everywhere. When Dr. Manhattan blows someone up, he really blows them up. Even in the book, he doesn't completely incinerate as many people as he does here. I'm a little conflicted as to how I feel about this. I don't know if they went in this direction to keep it true to life, as in violence really is a messy way to solve conflict, or if it was just simple shock value. I suggest it might be shock value, because it seems some elements actually were just there because, hey fuck it, why not? When Dan and Jenny have sex in his airship, it's quite graphically depicted. Dr. Manhattan does in fact remain naked for most of the film, much to my roommate's surprise and protest. I don't feel that either of these elements added to the film, mainly because context is again missing. We are not told how Dr. Manhattan does not see the point of clothes anymore, and thus prefers to go naked. Instead we just get a large naked blue guy with a weird symbol on his head that is never explained despite us seeing him burn it into himself.

Some of the musical choices were, not quite poor choices, but odd none the less. Instead of going through a detailed history of the original 1940s costumed heroes, they instead opt for a montage of photo ops while The times they are a changing plays. During the funeral of the Comedian, The Sound of Silence is played. All of the musical choices fit, in one way or another, but are largely unnecessary. It has the effect of pulling you back out of the experience, because these songs just seem out of place.

Rorschach really sells this movie for me. He's easily, and by a large margin, the best part. He's a great character, and his portrayal is a good interpretation. I was against it, at first, simply because I always had him sound different in my head, but once I was past the initial adjustment of how I think his voice should be I was really into it. I'm guessing at one point, they just told the guy to act like Clint Eastwood, and oh boy does it work. Heck, while he was in jail I thought to myself at one point "holy shit, did they get Eastwood to play him? No, no way. Man, who is this guy?" It was just such a strong performance if you ask me. Dr. Manhattan portrayed well also, but again with some shock as to how different he was in my head to how he is on screen. I always gave him a deep, echo-ey voice while the film keeps it just the same from when he was human. It's not something I would have ever considered, but ends up working in the end.


All in all, Watchmen is worth seeing, though possibly not in theaters. If you're going to see it, and expect to see an accurate portrayal of your favorite comic book, with little changes and a complete sense of a story you're going to be disapointed. If you just want to see some badass fight scenes, and see some of your favorite parts of the book acted out, this is the movie for you.

Misery as a motivator

So today I felt like crap for most of my time at the internship, henceforth known as work.

Today an author was supposed to be in the office, so we're expected to dress extra nice for these occasions. I went in wearing my gray work shirt and navy blue pants all tucked in a looking nice, in that "you look horrible, but somewhere down the line this was the style that personified professionalism" kind of way. The only down side is my horrendously sized gut, and it's ability to get in the way of everything I do.

A maybe an hour after getting to work, I was asked to deliver some packages to the post office. Melissa was able to come along and help, which was cool because we both were looking to not have to stare at spreadsheets all day. This should not have been that bad but alas, after neglecting to bring my own lunch for the first few weeks of work, my car was littered with fast food bags that in turn attributed to a recent weight gain of mine. So I already feel like a total slob for just being that guy with way too many Wendye's bags in his car.

Of course after the lifting and physical movement, to which my outfit is not intended for, my shirt is un-tucked and wrinkled in annoying ways. Ways that, to fix, would require me sticking my hand down my pants at several spots all over my waist. I of course think it's a great idea to attempt this at my desk thinking this is just a one or two push job. Oh how wrong I am and I later feel that the back is completely undone and who knows whats showing up down there.

I make my way to the rest room, mostly to fix this but also to pee. Aparently though, with these pants I cannot find any reason to zip the fly back up. I go back to my desk, shirt fixed but zipper undone and don't notice it for a while. Once I do, I don't know what to do because I'm around people and don't want to suddenly start playing with my crotch in public. I save that shit for movie theaters and churches (chicken).

So I finally find an opening when I'm alone to fix that and think that everything is going to be great forever, right? Well sometime in my normal movments the front of my shirt becomes un-tucked again. I don't really know how, but it does, so much to the point my stomach is showing a little. I of course do not see this at all and procede to go on my lunch break, giving a nod to the hot receptionsist at the front desk. Smooth criminal, this one.

So I eat my lunch and take my nap and go back into the restroom to fix my shirt to the best of my ability. Everything is looking nice again, until maybe an hour an a half later, after sitting perfectly upright to the point of causing pain in my back, I notice that my fly is open once again! I look around, and am pretty sure no one can see me when I decide to go for it, only to have someone walk by at that exact moment. It must have looked like I was just putting my junk away as she walked by.

I should take this time to mention that like 90% of the office i work at is cute girls. Seriously, it's the dirty old men who hired them, a parade of young attractive girls, and me.

So basically I was so awkward and felt like so much of a slob today, infront of just the right audience that I'm even more motivated to work out and eat right, espeically at work.

That's me in the corner

Let me tell you about the last couple of hours. I was cleaning some pots and pans that I had used previously and decided that I should go get gas before tomorrow so that I won't have to on the way to or from the internship tomorrow. After that I thought it might be a good idea to stop at the grocery store for a few things while I was out anyway.

I went to the cereal isle and stood there for a few minutes thinking about what to get. I noticed though, that I was on the far right side of the isle.... at all the cereals intended for grown ups. There was not a cartoon character or offer of a prize or anything fun in sight. All I could see were eye catching fonts advertising the fiber content and how much more wheat and vitamins this brand has over the other. I was surprised to find myself here and scooted down to the kids cereals, the cereals of my youth. As I gazed upon the familiar faces of Captain Crunch and that Cheerios Honey Bee I realized that I really just did not want any of these cereals. I remembered how the last time I ate most of these the sugar made bits dissolve in my mouth and I had to have maybe two bowls to really fill up.

I'm all over this shit.

So after I bought a box of Rasin Bran I went home and thought to myself that I should make my lunch tonight in preparation to tomorrow. This part is not what really got to me, but more what I decided to make for lunch which made me kind of cringe. I made a tuna sandwhich and a salad. It's healthy, and actually quite tasty.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?

I think I'm maturing, growing older, putting away childish things. I haven't watched a cartoon in years. I hardly play video games any more. I'm looking forward to the idea of getting a good job and saving up for my future.


God I hope the G.I. Joe movie is good. I need to be able to say "let's watch some G.I. Joe" again.

I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself

The hardest part about being behind on your work is that new stuff is always getting added to it. My bio test is done, now I have my mass comm test next week. I'm behind on my world lit in a big way, and shakespeare is starting to fall behind too.

We did it sketches are "on hold" for now, at least until I can knock at least one school related project out of here. I'm disappointed in that though, because writing the sketches is at least fun.

Speaking of We did it, Bad has been filmed, and I'm a little on the fence about how I feel about it. Really, the only thing I'm not 100% sure on is the new ending, where some song is played and both characters kind of... I guess realize how silly the whole situation is and go home? I think it just depends on how we present the "Dramatic readings of Pop songs" series. Putting them scattered throughout an episode is, I think, the ideal way to do them. I would for sure want some kind of introduction to them though, because it's the type of thing where unless you know what's coming up you probably will just not get it. It would be easy for someone to just think that these are weird sketches with bad/ripped off dialogue unless they know that "oh hey, this is a pop song" before hand.

I think I'd just want to see it done both ways, one with the new ending and one without to see what comes off better. Does the fact that it's Michale Jackson's Bad stand on it's own, or does it need something at the end to let it all settle and actually give it an ending? These are things that, as a writer, I need to consider with my sketches. Is the joke powerful enough to speak for itself or does it need padding around it to strengthen it?

Hopefully I can get caught up a little this weekend. I've got to deal a little with some apartment stuff, I helped film a sketch and I just need to do some homework but after all that I can really relax and maybe catch up on some sleep.

Racist cat is racist.

Ok, so I guess it's time to soapbox a little. I'm really getting pissed the fuck off at how acceptable it's becoming again to be casually racist. This includes homophobia. It seems like I can't turn around without someone making a comment that just honestly crosses the line between maybe being able to play it off as a joke, and being just strait up racist.

The biggest offender, by far, is my roommate Evan. He hates middle eastern people more than I've ever known any one person to hate a group of people. My main evidence for this is that he's never refered to them as anything besides "fucking pakies". He even corrected me once, when I said "middle easterners" like that scene in Boondock Saints when Rocko is telling that joke. He's also one of the most homophobic people I know, and will continually call everyone a faggot, even just as a general greeting.
It really is.

What amazes me, is just how much of a hot topic homosexuality is in this country. Prop. 8 passed in California this past november. California actually banned homosexuals from getting married.

California.

When California starts banning rights, all hope is lost. Move to Canada or something 'cause America ain't free anymore.

I think the main problem is that we, myself included, allow these types of things to slide and don't do anything about it. We let our roommates yell "die, you fucking pakies" while playing video games, we let people talk about homosexuals like they're not human and all the while we do nothing about it.

That begs the question though, what CAN we do about it? Even if I talked to my roommate about his problems, he *might* stop saying that stuff aroud me, but he would just claim he's joking and still not change his opinion. I could stand up for the gay community and try to change public policy about them but honestly that's a life long goal, and a cause you would have to fight for every day just to see the slightest bit of change.

The source of the problem is just that this is how things have always been. There has always been some common enemy, someone to blame, someone to look down on. The only comfort I think we have is that we're really starting to run out of people to hate. We know it's wrong to hate black people, and anyone really who looks different than us. We should know it's wrong to hate homosexuals, and I think that in my lifetime, though admitadtly not until near the end, hating homosexuals will finally be looked down upon the same way hating other minorities is.

I sometimes wonder if it's a southern thing. I've heard from some people that in the north there isn't nearly as much natural segrigation and casual racism that there is down here. I really would like to spend some time up there to see how true that is.

It's like Kenny Vs. Spenny but they're both named Matt

If my life were a Cathy comic, right now I'd be saying "APARTMENTS APARTMENTS APARTMENTS AAACK!"

We're not so different, You and I.

No, but seriously it's a tough call. I got a call back today from the real estate agent of a condo for rent literally next door to where I live right now. It's a 2 bed/2bath with washer and dryer and all the basic appliances in the unit. The owners are asking 1,000 a month, but that part is negotiable and the person I spoke to said the owners were more concerned with people who will take care of the place moving in. I'm not exactly a clean person, but so far I've been changing a lot and I know I can keep that place looking nice if set my mind to it. I've also shared this information with one of my current roommates, Matt, because he's clean, quiet and shares my distaste for Sanctuary Lofts.

A Is where I live, B is where I would move to. Red is the grocery store, Blue is the bars. Pink is school

The plus side of this place would be that it's in a great location, and hopefully would be a place I can really enjoy. I would be using my own furniture, so I think it would feel more like a home and less like a dorm. In a sense, it could easily be everything I've wanted in a living environment since I moved to San Marcos.

The down side though, it's in San Marcos. I could, maybe, graduate as early as this summer if I wanted to. I'll most likely graduate in December though, meaning I could be working 9-5 Monday- Friday as early as January of diggity 10. It would really be a son of a bitch to drive 60 miles a day for work, plus if I go into Austin on the weekends to hang with my friends, which I usually do. The only real silver lining of that is it would only have to last me until August, assuming I don't just sublease once my time in San Marcos is up.


My other option is to try and find a place in Austin. The advantages to this would be under the assumption that I would be working/interning much more than going to school during my last semester. It would also allow my brother to live with me over the summer while he does some "hippie liberal law thing" as Mom puts it. Any advantage of location would just depend on where the place is.

The downside to this though, is I don't have anyone I can really room with in the Austin area.



Maybe Nick Reed will come back, but he would need to line a job up first and the way the job market is right now, it's a much safer bet for him to ride things out at home with a job he already has.

Nick Grant might come back and need a place to live, but he also might make a documentory in New York.

My other option would be to just put out ads looking for a roommate, which I'm not too crazy about, or live alone which I would equally not look forword to. I don't like living alone, because I end up just sitting at my computer all day. When I'm with others I at least have someone to watch some Tv with and talk to.

Craigslist fumbles it again.

The main disadvantage of the Austin option is that it assumes a lot. It assumes I'll be working/interning more than going to school, which already is not really true. I already take (mainly) Tuesday/Thursday classes and intern M-W-F. The only way for me to work there more would be to actually stay there longer than the 8 hours I already do. It also assumes that I'll be working in Austin after I graduate, which I have no guarantee. The economy might still be in the crapper and I'll be working retaile while considering grad school/the army, or I might teach overseas or even just get a job in another state. All things considered the liklyhood of me actually working in Austin at BookPros is kind of slim.

Really it's a decision between what would be helpful and enjoyable now, which is San Marcos, vs. what would be helpful and enjoyable in the long run, which is Austin.

Right now, what I want is the San Marcos option. It's easy for me to do on my own, it keeps me in an area I really like and will make finishing school easier, which has to be my top priority. I don't care if I end up having to move back in with Mom and Dad, I need to get out of school.

Something is telling me though that what I should do is the Austin option. It helps my brother out, which I would like to do but should definitely not loose sleep over if I can't. It also puts me in a better position for working after I'm out of school.

I think an important factor is going to to be looking at the condo and seeing if it's a piece of shit or not.

On the plus side it is all bills paid.

in lighter news one of my sketches got filmed

Dead heroes

Man, so apparently Bruce Wayne is really dead. I can't actually find anything that shows this when I search for it on google, which annoys me. I'd heard the rumor for a few months, but he hasn't actually showed up since late last year. Part of me wants to care that they actually killed off one of the most iconic characters of the last 70 years, but really I just know in the back of my head that he'll be back any time between the next one and ten years.

The problem with comic book character deaths is simply that they never stay dead. Eventually they'll either will themselves back into being, like Superman did or maybe some magical thing will happen to make them alive again like Green Arrow AND Lantern or sometimes they were never really dead to start with like Bucky.

From what I understand most, if not all of the Batman lines of comics are going to come to a close and merge into just one continuing issue. This seems to confirm that he is, in fact, dead dispite not seeing the body or anything.

I have mixed feeling on the idea of Batman being dead. Batman just seemed like the one hero you could never actually kill, mostly because there just is no good way to do it. Every other time there was an explosion that he couldn't have escaped from, he did because he saw the bomb or knew that the guy would probably have set a trap. To me it just seems like you would have to do better than a mere explosion to actually kill off Batman.

So that got me thinking about what would actually be a good and fitting death for The Bat-Man. My frist thought was to have The Joker kill him, but I dismissed that because it would just be way too depressing and you just can't let The Joker win like that. So what about just some random thug? Maybe, depending on the situation. Should Rocko, the guy breaking into a jewelry store just get a lucky shot? No, definitly not, Batman can't just die because he rolled a 1. So I was thinking a kid should do it.

Think about it. Batman breaks up a bunch of hoods on a drug deal, or something like that. The only one left is the gang's 11 year old look out/initiate who either gets scared or maybe even knows what he's doing and shoots Batman in the back. I'd have Batman disarm the kid and probably convince him to walk a better path before he ends up like his thug companions before letting the kid go. After that he would just slump over in an allyway somewhere, dieing in the same setting that gave birth to him when his parents died the same way. It's the only thing I could ever accept for a fitting death to Bruce Wayne as The Batman.

And then of course he would have to stay dead, which would be difficult. I think one of the only iconic heroes to actually stay dead is Barry Allen and some of the origonal Golden Age heroes who were eventually replaced by someone else like all the other Flashes or Blue Beatles.

Whatever, Steve Rodgers and Bruce Wayne will certainly come back one way or another. Maybe it'll be a perfect clone, or something dealing with magic or most likely not being dead to start with (fucking Bucky, man.) but they'll all be back. Barry Allen too probably.

2 for feb?

I feel bad that I only updated this thing like 5 times in 2008. I could probably use this as a much better medium for writing than I am. Right now it's kind of just a journal that sometimes someone I know reads when really I should just keep this shit private.

anyway, hopefully that's all over is where I'm going with that.

I just recently got back into San Marcos from Sean/Sean/Mike/Anthony's place, which I'm convinced should be called SHHH or HHHM for short (Sean, Hardaway, Harrison, Herrera or Hardaway, Harrison, Hererra, McCoy). I like "shhh" because it makes their place seem like a seceret hideout or something.

Today we had planned on filming a sketch, but it got kind of late on us so we decided to postpone that until tomorrow while we get everything ready tonight. By we, I of course mean them because I'm 30~ miles away letting my dinner digest before I go work out.

I'm really excited about the sketch show and where it's going. We have, last I heard, 4 sketches in the final editting stages. I'm a little disapointed that they've been in this stage for a couple weeks now but I'm not about to cause a fuss or anything. We've been talking about doing this for so long that I'm afraid of things falling through because of lazyness/better things to do/ loss of interest/ etc. I'd much rather this take longer than it should and still get done than try and go faster than people are comfortable with and end up with something we don't really like.

I felt bad about missing the last writer's meeting. It was to work on school work, so I shouldn't feel bad at all but it's still something I look forword to every week and something I like contributing to. It just sucks because of how busy I'm keeping this semester. I'll probably end up having to miss a few more throughout the year because school just has to come first, but I'm hoping that once I get more used to waking up early and utilizing my time as best I can that I'll have enough time to get school work done, internship work done and also get my sketches written on time and into Anthony for review.

I came up with an idea that I really like, and pitched it to a few people and it seems to be going really well. The sketch would be a lot like a nature show in the way it's filmed. Two or more people (I'm thinking Bob and MK would be good as they're the most in shape looking) are hiding in some brush and talking about the allusive prey they're tracking. The thing is, they're literally apartment hunting. They say something along the lines of how rare it is to find a 4 bedroom in this region, and if they're not careful it'll get away. One of them would lay the "bait" which would just be an envelope with the word RENT written on it and slowly back away. After a few seconds the other shoots it with a dart gun and they both go take their picutre with it like they actually cought it.

I like it, and think it would be pretty easy to film and everything. I want to write it up before the next meeting so we can maybe do a bit of a read through and so it's easier to pitch. That's just the hard part though, because I always feel like my sketches are way too short. This will probably be maybe two pages long, and translate to maybe a minute and a half of actual film if we jazz it up a bit. That seems to be how most of my sketches work because they're all based off one joke which is basically "wouldn't it be funny if..." and after that I just insert things like "some dude was laughing in a bathroom" or "people set up rules for farting" or in this case "some dudes were literally hunting apartments".

I still think my sketches are funny, but I wish I could do more like Anthony where it's more than just one idea played out to the fullest. Speaking of Anthony's sketches, I really want to make a Shirt for "The News". I have it all planned out and I'll show it to sean to see if he can draw it up. If not I *might* be able to get April to draw it decently, but we'd probably have to pay her before she actually did it.

That's all for now. I have to make sure I work out today and study for my Bio test on Wednsday.

Last week

Last week was maybe one of the busiest weeks of my life. I was basically booked solid from Monday to the following Sunday.

Monday- Got up at 7, went to work until 5, rushed back to San Marcos to get to my 6:30 class which didn't get out until about 8.

Tuesday- Class from 8-2 and a writer's meeting at 7. Evan turned 21 at midnight so his sister and her friend came over for some drinks and stayed until about 2, which is when I went to bed.

Wednesday- See Monday. Evan is now officially 21 so we go out for drinks that night at a few bars. Again, up until about 2 or 3

Thursday- Class until 2 again, fallowed by a little free time before finding out that the girls from two doors down are having a party for their friend who also just turned 21. The night starts out with me telling myself that I'll only have a few beers, and ends with me needing a new book bag and pretty sure I'm not going to get my deposit back on the apartment. Found my bed at around 4? Who knows?

Friday- Wake up at 7, drive to Austin for work. Feel like shit until about 11 when I feel WONDERFUL and get off work at around noon. I go home and enjoy some free time, surprisingly not tiered and wind up having a date that night in Austin again. Traffic is actually closed on I-35 so I'm a little late. Date is horribly weird and ends with me telling her I'll call. Have yet to do so. It's maybe 2am at Sean, Sean, Anthony and MK's place when I pass out.

Saturday- Wake up around 2pm and get lunch with Anthony and Hardaway. Hang out there until about 6 when I go home. I get there around 7 and grab a little dinner. Steve reminds me that tonight is Evan's actual birthday party. I kick myself for forgetting and spend maybe 30 minutes deciding if I should go. I figure "what the hell" and catch a ride with Steve. I'm determined to take it easy based on what happened last time and am proud for how I'm only "kinda" drunk by the end of the night. Girl gets two of her teeth chipped by 250lb dude's fist. Steve cries. lots.

Sunday- Steve wakes me up at 11am to go home, make a stop at the outlet mall on the way. Steve also drives like a senior citizen so we don't get home until maybe 1? something like that. We get home and Steve goes to bed while I change into PJs and decide to chill on the couch before a nap. Tim comes over and reminds us that it's Superbowl Sunday. I change and we all get some stuff for grilling. After that we watch the game. It's about 7 or so when the game ends and my week is finally over. I go to bed around 11 or so.

Monday- Wake up at 7 and don't get home again until 8.

Update

Haven't used this in a while. It might do me some good to get some stuff out though.

I guess the thing that's heaviest on my mind at the moment is me and April breaking up. I really do miss her, and I'm kind of worried. I'm afraid of not just the typical stuff like if I'll find someone but what if this changes me for the worse? I don't want to fall into a depression or anything over it, and so far I'm fairly certain I haven't. What if I do though? What if I get really depressed about it and just can't deal with it for years or something?

It's been about 5 months. I feel like this next one is going to be the deciding factor on that. If I can go 6 months without any serious depression over it, I should be fine, right?

I'm also worried about putting her on a pedestal and comparing all the other girls I meet to her. I've been on a few dates with a few other girls and so far that's what I keep doing. I compare the new girl to April and in my mind she never measures up. This just might be though that I need to give it more time before I date again. Maybe it's not that they don't measure up, it's just that I don't like them that much anyway. I just wish I knew because it's the guessing and hypothesizing that's killing me.

I try to keep busy because of it. I only really think of her if I'm alone and not doing anything, so I'm trying to keep that to a minimum. I'm going to be pretty busy from now on though, so maybe that's a good thing.

I got the internship I wanted. I had my first day, which I felt kind of bad about because I just went so horribly slow with what turned out to be a really easy task. The problem was that I had never done anything like it before. I had no idea how to make a PDF file, but I learned through trial and error. I think what I should have done was have my mentor just completely walk me through the first one.

Basically I had to make PDF files of book covers and their interiors. I only had to do 4 and it took me most of the day because there are just so many steps involved. Each step was something I had to learn about and wanted to teach myself so that I'd remember better. I think that might have been a mistake because once I got the first one all together, the other three were done in a fraction of the time. It was such as easy assignment it shouldn't have taken me so long.

I can blame a little on the computers though. Mine crapped out halfway through, so I had to start over on another one. And on each computer I had to get clearance to use a certain program so I had to talk to the IT guy twice. He seemed kind of annoyed, but oh well.

I'm also writing sketches for the show that all my austin friends want to put on public access. It's called "We Did It" and so far I've got one complete sketch, ready to be filmed and another awaitng it's final review. I have to write my 3rd tomorrow and also hopefully revise one that needs a overhual. I'm really excited about all of this because it's just so fun and I think I'm actually good at it. It's also actually completing something, which I can't really say I've ever done.

Speaking of completing stuff, I found out today that I've got more school than I thought I did. Not loads like a whole year or anything, but maybe another semester. The only thing I know is that I can't graduate this semester. If I want to take full loads over the mini and summer semesters I can do it by the end of summer. Do I really want to take that much in such a short time? I mean we're talking like 3 classes of 4 hours a day or something like that. On the other hand, we're also talking graduating in the fall which means finding an apartment in either here or Austin, putting up with all of this for another alomst year.

Do I want to graduate in 6 months? Or 11 months? I have until March 30th to decide. I honestly don't know what to do.

Something I'm wondering is if I can graduate in the winter, but still get a job that last semester. A real job, is what I mean. What if I apply to a place, like where I'm working now for my internship and I just do half days on M-W or something while I take care of those last one or two classes I would need after doing a few summer classes? I need to find that out.

It's late though. There's time for that later. I just need to keep on moving and keep on trying for now. I know I'm going to get through all this and I'm going to be fine, I just wish that the time for all that was now and not as much later as it is.