Misery as a motivator

So today I felt like crap for most of my time at the internship, henceforth known as work.

Today an author was supposed to be in the office, so we're expected to dress extra nice for these occasions. I went in wearing my gray work shirt and navy blue pants all tucked in a looking nice, in that "you look horrible, but somewhere down the line this was the style that personified professionalism" kind of way. The only down side is my horrendously sized gut, and it's ability to get in the way of everything I do.

A maybe an hour after getting to work, I was asked to deliver some packages to the post office. Melissa was able to come along and help, which was cool because we both were looking to not have to stare at spreadsheets all day. This should not have been that bad but alas, after neglecting to bring my own lunch for the first few weeks of work, my car was littered with fast food bags that in turn attributed to a recent weight gain of mine. So I already feel like a total slob for just being that guy with way too many Wendye's bags in his car.

Of course after the lifting and physical movement, to which my outfit is not intended for, my shirt is un-tucked and wrinkled in annoying ways. Ways that, to fix, would require me sticking my hand down my pants at several spots all over my waist. I of course think it's a great idea to attempt this at my desk thinking this is just a one or two push job. Oh how wrong I am and I later feel that the back is completely undone and who knows whats showing up down there.

I make my way to the rest room, mostly to fix this but also to pee. Aparently though, with these pants I cannot find any reason to zip the fly back up. I go back to my desk, shirt fixed but zipper undone and don't notice it for a while. Once I do, I don't know what to do because I'm around people and don't want to suddenly start playing with my crotch in public. I save that shit for movie theaters and churches (chicken).

So I finally find an opening when I'm alone to fix that and think that everything is going to be great forever, right? Well sometime in my normal movments the front of my shirt becomes un-tucked again. I don't really know how, but it does, so much to the point my stomach is showing a little. I of course do not see this at all and procede to go on my lunch break, giving a nod to the hot receptionsist at the front desk. Smooth criminal, this one.

So I eat my lunch and take my nap and go back into the restroom to fix my shirt to the best of my ability. Everything is looking nice again, until maybe an hour an a half later, after sitting perfectly upright to the point of causing pain in my back, I notice that my fly is open once again! I look around, and am pretty sure no one can see me when I decide to go for it, only to have someone walk by at that exact moment. It must have looked like I was just putting my junk away as she walked by.

I should take this time to mention that like 90% of the office i work at is cute girls. Seriously, it's the dirty old men who hired them, a parade of young attractive girls, and me.

So basically I was so awkward and felt like so much of a slob today, infront of just the right audience that I'm even more motivated to work out and eat right, espeically at work.